sweat makes typing slippery

As I am typing this entry, my muscles are quaking. The last two days I held my pee as long as possible so I could avoid having to stoop my body down to the toilet seat while trying not to fall in. I can feel the ache from my ankles to my tongue, which makes me wonder... was I sticking my tongue out while I was exercising? I can just imagine the neighbors peeking through the windows while I am exercising, laughing as I seemingly lick the air and bounce the floor boards.

By the way, I forgot to mention my starting weight. Right now I am at 220 lbs. I wonder if I can find a more flattering way to post that... how about 100 kg. That's better.

Do you remember pushing out your first baby with your husband at your side, spouting off commands and affirmations as you silently screamed profanities at him? "Shut up, you sack of testosterone! You haven't a clue!" "Say that one more time and I'm going to yank your nose hairs into a comb-over!" He is such a dear for staying by your side, but maybe he should just keep his mouth shut and keep the cream puffs coming.

Or maybe you had a female coach who walked into the room with multi-folded wallet pics of the six babies she gave birth to (at home, in the bathtub) and the sixteen baby bottle shaped pins on her jean dress representing all the babies she "brought" into the world as a birthing coach?

Sometimes a video exercise trainer is like a birthing coach. Either they have never acknowledged the insanely high metabolism they were born with, which is like the encouraging father who sees giving birth as a tough time on the toilet, OR they are masochists who worked insanely hard to get to the shape they are in, like the olympic procreator who thinks everyone should feel her pain for the love of baby-makers everywhere.

Just so you know, I don't think that ALL trainers are like this. I am just saying that by the end of the work out, when the sweat is dripping into my vision and the stench clouds the room, I tend to PERCEIVE them with more contempt than before. That's all I am saying.

Before I go, I just want to give a special shout out to my friend Amy, who kindly bought me a donut this morning. I think she's afraid that she'll lose her status as my BBBBF (see post 1).